Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs: Redefine What’s Possible

If there’s one thing I’ve learned on this journey of personal and professional growth, it’s that the mind can be both an incredible ally and a serious roadblock. We all have limiting beliefs—those “truths” we carry around that hold us back, often without realising it. These are the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we’re capable of, but they’re often based on outdated fears, past experiences, or other people’s opinions.

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are those little (or sometimes not-so-little) statements in your mind that say things like, “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t have time,” or “People like me just don’t do that.” They’re deeply ingrained, often to the point where they feel like the absolute truth. And on top of that, these beliefs don’t just influence our self talk; they shape our actions, relationships, and even how we view the world.

How Limiting Beliefs Form

Think of limiting beliefs as programming—usually formed in childhood or after significant experiences. Maybe you were told you “weren’t creative” by a teacher, or perhaps a failed project left you feeling like “success isn’t meant for me.” These beliefs don’t start with us as adults, but they certainly find ways to tag along and affect us in more subtle ways over time.

How to identify and overcome Limiting Beliefs

There’s a powerful approach to understanding and overcoming these self imposed limits. It focuses on helping individuals identify their “inner blocks” in this case, limiting beliefs and turn them into “empowering beliefs” that support growth and fulfilment.

This methodology encourages clients to view beliefs as choices rather than fixed facts. Here’s how it can look in practice:

1. Identify the Limiting Belief: First, become aware of what that belief is. For example, “I’m not skilled enough to start my own business.”

2. Question Its Origin: Where did this belief come from? When you really think about it, you may find that it’s based on a single experience or an outdated assumption. Sometimes, just understanding the origin can take the edge off.

3. Challenge the Truth of the Belief: Is this belief really true, or is it just one perspective? For instance, if you believe you’re “not skilled enough,” ask yourself if there’s evidence to the contrary. What skills have you gained over time? What feedback have others given you?

4. Reframe the Belief: Look at replacing the limiting belief with an empowering one. If “I’m not skilled enough to start my own business” is holding you back, an empowering belief might be, “I have the ability to learn and grow as I start this business.”

5. Take Action to Reinforce the New Belief: Finally, taking small steps aligned with your new belief reinforces it. If you’re working with “I have the ability to learn,” maybe that means taking a course, joining a community of like minded individuals, or seeking mentorship.

Examples of Limiting Beliefs and How to Reframe Them

Sometimes seeing examples can make it easier to tackle your own beliefs. Here are a few common ones:

Limiting Belief: “I always fail at new things.”
Reframe: “Learning is part of growth, and each attempt is a step closer to success.”

Limiting Belief: “I’m not smart enough to lead.”
Reframe: “I bring unique skills and perspectives to leadership, and I’m constantly learning.”

Limiting Belief: “I don’t have enough time for personal growth.”
Reframe: “I make time for things that matter, and personal growth is essential.”

Why Reframing Limiting Beliefs Matters

The beauty of reframing limiting beliefs is that it changes the way you experience the world. Instead of avoiding challenges or playing small, you’ll start looking at life through a new lens – one that’s more open to opportunity and possibility. With this approach, these reframes become part of a toolkit you can use whenever those old beliefs resurface, which they inevitably do.

Breaking the Habit of Limiting Beliefs

Remember, overcoming limiting beliefs isn’t a one and  done thing. These beliefs are like habits; they may creep back when you least expect it. But each time you question, challenge, and reframe them, you weaken their hold.

Whether you’re aiming for personal growth, professional success, or simply more peace of mind, addressing limiting beliefs is a powerful step in that direction. After all, the only limits we truly face are the ones we choose to believe. And the choice is always ours to change them.

If you take a step back and really listen to everyday conversations – at home, at work, even just in passing, you might notice how much judgment and blame come into play. I know I’ve noticed it in my own interactions, and it’s surprising how quickly we default to criticising or labeling rather than seeking to understand. In a way, we’re still a bit “caveman” in our communication. Just like our ancestors, we’re wired to be defensive and protective, especially when there’s any hint of conflict.

How Judgments and Blame Sneak into Everyday Language

It’s easy to slip into judgment without even realising it. When we feel challenged, it can feel like second nature to say things like, “You’re never listening” or “You just don’t care.” These statements are rooted in how we feel but often come out as blame toward others. For many of us, this is simply the language we’ve grown up hearing. Our early experiences, social norms, and even media have conditioned us to communicate in ways that are quick to blame or judge rather than to express or connect.

But what if there’s a different way? A way to talk that doesn’t rely on finger-pointing, but rather helps us understand and be understood?

A Course in Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

This curiosity about better ways of communicating is what led me to attend a foundational course on Nonviolent Communication (NVC). I wanted to see if I could break away from those default “caveman” patterns, both in my personal relationships and in my work. The course was eye opening.

The main idea behind NVC is simple but powerful: instead of leading with judgment or blame, we can connect by focusing on our own feelings and needs. It’s about owning our responses rather than projecting them onto someone else. NVC encourages a few core practices:

1. Observe Without Judgment: Describe situations factually rather than interpreting or labeling them.

2. Express Feeling: Share what you’re genuinely feeling, instead of masking emotions with accusations or defensiveness.

3. Identify Needs: Acknowledge the unmet needs behind these feelings.

4. Make Clear Requests: Request specific actions in a way that invites cooperation rather than demands.

Examples of NVC in Practice

I found the shift from blame to understanding to be especially powerful. Here’s how it could look in practice:

Instead of saying, “You never take my advice,” which can feel critical, NVC might suggest expressing it as, “I feel discouraged when my input isn’t considered because I need to feel valued in our decisions. Would you be open to discussing ways we could make decision making more collaborative?”

Or take a statement like, “You’re always so negative.” This could be reframed to something like, “When I hear repeated criticism, I feel frustrated because I need positivity and support. Could we try focusing on potential solutions together?”

The Impact of Shifting Our Communication

Shifting to this kind of language requires practice, but I can already see its benefits. Rather than getting trapped in resentment or bottling up issues to avoid confrontation, I now feel more empowered to face conflict head on, with empathy as a guide. NVC has helped me understand that often, when we’re angry or frustrated, we’re actually struggling with unmet needs, not just with the other person’s actions. Recognising this has been incredibly freeing.

If you’re curious to learn more about NVC or want to explore a course, you can find resources at https://www.tomwilkinson.info. Whether in professional settings, family life, or friendships, learning to communicate without judgment and blame can open up new possibilities for connection, respect, and understanding.

We’ve all been there. The to-do list is long, the goals are clear, but something stops us from taking that first step. Instead of moving forward, we put things off – whether it’s the big project, that side business we’ve been dreaming of, or even the daily tasks that pile up. This cycle of procrastination can be exhausting and frustrating, leaving us feeling stuck and guilty for not making progress.

But what’s really happening when we procrastinate? And more importantly, how can we break free from it?

Understanding the Root of Procrastination

Procrastination is rarely just about laziness or lack of willpower. It often stems from deeper emotions like fear – fear of failure, fear of judgment, or even fear of success. Sometimes, it’s linked to perfectionism, where we hesitate to start because we don’t feel we can do it “perfectly.” Other times, it’s about overwhelm – when the task feels so big or important that we don’t know where to begin.

In any case, procrastination is usually about avoiding discomfort. Our brain naturally wants to steer clear of anything that feels risky, uncertain, or too challenging. But the longer we avoid taking action, the more that discomfort grows.

Strategies to Break the Procrastination Cycle

Here are some practical strategies to help you move from inaction to momentum:

1. Start Small with Micro-Actions
One of the biggest hurdles in overcoming procrastination is feeling overwhelmed by the size of the task. Break it down into the smallest, most manageable steps possible. Instead of thinking, “I need to launch my business,” focus on the first action, like “researching venues” or “writing an outline for my website.” By starting small, you’re less likely to feel paralyzed by the magnitude of your goal.

2. Set Clear Intentions, Not Expectations
Sometimes we procrastinate because we are fixated on a perfect outcome. Instead of focusing on the end result, shift your mindset to setting clear, actionable intentions. Think about what actions you can take today – whether or not they lead to perfection doesn’t matter. What matters is that you take a step forward.

3. Time Block for Focus
Procrastination thrives when we lack structure. Try using time blocking to allocate specific periods for focused work. For example, dedicate 20 minutes to work on a task, knowing you can take a break afterward. The Pomodoro Technique (working in 25 minute increments followed by a short break) is another popular method to help keep your brain engaged without overwhelming it.

4. Identify Your “Why”
When we lose sight of the bigger purpose behind a task, it’s easy to avoid it. Ask yourself, “Why is this important to me?” Reconnecting with your personal motivation, whether it’s achieving a long-term goal, improving your career, or aligning with your values can reignite your drive.

5. Practice Self-Compassion
Beating yourself up for procrastinating only deepens the cycle. If you don’t get something done today, it’s not the end of the world. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer a friend or a child. Instead of saying, “I’m so bad at this,” say, “I’m doing the best I can, and I’ll try again tomorrow.”

6. Take Action Before You Feel Ready
Often, we wait for the perfect moment to take action – when we feel more prepared or confident. But the truth is, there’s rarely a “perfect” time. Confidence grows through action. Taking one small step, even when you don’t feel fully ready, will build momentum and help you overcome the inertia of procrastination.

Moving Forward

Procrastination can feel like a tough habit to break, but it’s not insurmountable. The key is to be kind to yourself, start small, and take consistent action. You don’t have to get everything done today, but doing something – however small, creates the momentum you need to keep going.

Remember: It’s not about doing everything perfectly, it’s about moving forward, one step at a time.